46 reasons to be faithful 

    Anna and Piotr went on a romantic picnic outside the city. They celebrated their anniversary. The weather was perfect. The June sun was shining, and a gentle breeze was moving the leaves on the trees. It was a wonderfully romantic day. Piotr opened a bottle of sparkling wine. He poured into glasses and handed one of them to Annie.

    Anna was delighted, Piotr thought about everything. A secluded place  outside the city, the view from the escarpment, a basket full of samekołowki and excellent wine. Anna wanted to capture this moment in a photo.   She left her phone in  in the car, she reached for Piotr's phone. Piotr froze, picked up the phone nervously and clenched his fingers tightly on it. Anna for a moment thought that Peter still had some kind of romantic surprise  hides it on the phone, but after a few seconds, lasting forever, she realized that it was not about a romantic surprise. He was right, Piotr's phone call contained evidence  his betrayals.    

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    Betrayal is nothing new, and each of us can tell a few similar stories,  from your own life or  heard  from  other.  CBOS,  In  2011  year,  carried out  tests  ( 1 ),  which  confirm  a stereotype functioning in Polish society - a statistical romancer is a well-to-do and educated man working in an office, preferably in a high managerial position. The same research shows that approximately 18% of women and 33% of men cheated. However, it should be remembered that the moral evaluation of romances is socially sanctioned, and that  means that   betrayals are not socially  acceptable and are subject to criticism from the environment. Probably  this is why  despite the independent input of data to the computer during the study, the discomfort when giving an answer inconsistent with the commonly accepted values could induce the respondents to ignore the truth.  

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According to the report of the Center for Social Prevention  betrayal percentage  grows ( 2 ). IN  within 5 years (the report includes studies from 2011, 2012,  2014 and 2015  ) increased by 17%. While men cheat more often 46% (2014-39%) than women 32% (2014-29%), women - similarly to 2014 and 2011 - declare a longer duration of the betrayal and the number of extra-marital partners. In men, these are more often one-off acts, and in women, longer romances.  

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Grounds  infidelity  they are different, fortunately there are also people who do not cheat and do not cheat on their partners. The researchers were curious about what drives them,  conducted the research ( 3. )  and so was a list of 46 reasons why you should not cheat.    

In one study  40 volunteers with   mean  At 31, took part in 30-minute semi-structured interviews where they were asked why they weren't cheating, hadn't cheated yet, and didn't want to cheat.  Then, the subjects answered questions  Open  about  the same topics. The data collected during the interviews and questionnaires were then coded, allowing scientists to identify 46 reasons that prevent people from cheating. These reasons  alive  divided  on 8  categories:

Category  " I'm happy with my relationship "

• My partner treats me well

• I have many benefits from my relationship that I don't want to lose

• I don't want to destroy my relationship

• I respect my partner

• I don't want to cheat on my partner

• I'm having a lot of fun with my partner

• My partner doesn't deserve that

• I don't want to hurt my partner

• I love my partner

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Category  " Social stigma "

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• I'm worried about what people will think if that happens.

• I am worried that I will be socially stigmatized.

• I don't want people to know that.

• I am afraid of the reaction of my partner's friends if this comes to light.

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Category " Shame If It Happens "

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• I'd be ashamed if it got out.

• Doing so is not in line with my religious beliefs.

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Category " Guilt "

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• I wouldn't be comfortable with myself.

• I could not  go on living guiltily.

• I would feel guilty.

• I do not consider this to be right.

• I do not consider it ethical.

• I would be ashamed.

• I don't like double life.

• I don't want to disappoint my partner's trust.

• I am monogamous.

• I respect myself.

• I do not like lying.

• This action can hurt many people.

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Category " I was not provoked "

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• My partner didn't provoke me.

• I believe my relationship has potential.

• I'm afraid I will like it and it will be to me  it was tempting to do it again.

• I haven't met anyone attractive enough to do this.

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Category " Fear of my partner's reaction "

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• Fear of my partner's reaction if he finds out.

• Fear my partner will find out.

• If I had children with my partner.

• Fear that my partner will react violently.

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Category " I don't want to get in trouble "

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• I don't want any trouble.

• I am afraid that I will confess this to my partner.

• I never had a chance.

• I fear my partner's parents reacting if they find out.

• I'm afraid I'll regret it.

• I am worried about the consequences this could have.

• My friends advise me against it.

• My parents advise me against it.

• I am afraid that I will get a sexually transmitted disease.

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Category " Fear that this will happen to me "

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• I don't want something like this to happen to me.

• I'm afraid my partner will do the same.

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