Do you know someone who doesn't want to be happy? I do not. Everyone wants to lead a joyful life, surround themselves with friendly people, enjoy each day.  Some may say, "Well, it's so easy to say it's harder to do, because we have so many things to do, so many everyday worries." All true, but ... scientists agree that  that:  

Positive emotions contribute to important life outcomes, including the development of friendships, marital satisfaction, higher income, and better physical health. It has even been shown that people who often experience positive emotions live longer. Indeed, a recent meta-analysis of nearly 300 results showed that​​ positive emotions lead to success and health as much as they reflect these good results.

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You can learn to be happy. Famous psychiatrist and lecturer (Harvard, Oxford and others)  David R. Hawkins wrote in one of his books  "[...] most people spend their lives regretting their past and fearing for the future; therefore, they are incapable of experiencing joy in the present. Many of us assumed that this is human fate, destiny, and the best we can do is "grit your teeth and take it somehow." 

Your mind is made to be happy and live in joy. Think about small children, still untouched by life experiences, their joy and the ability to enjoy the smallest little thing - a colorful bow stuck to the presentations, a butterfly on a flower, the wind in their hair ...

Do you know that our brain is like a computer that you program? It is up to you whether the program is for your brain  you will write focusing on positive words and thoughts that actually activate your brain cells to put you in a good mood, or on negative events and burden yourself with sadness. And words can change the brain.

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Happiness in its truest sense is contentment. And contentment does not start as a feeling, but as a choice to look at all that is good and all that is good in your life and experience the good things more than contemplating the bad ones. All forms of mindfulness, meditation and mindfulness are very helpful here, they help to focus on the here and now.

Many people say, "if I were rich, I would be happy" or "if I were successful professionally, I would be happy" ...  This is not entirely true, because many rich and professionally fulfilled people do not know how to be happy. They are worried, for example, about their fortune, their professional position so as not to fall from the top, they fall into various addictions or  they do not trust and do not believe anyone, looking for deceptions and lies everywhere ... while less wealthy people, even those considered poor, can enjoy small things and, despite adversities, maintain a positive attitude to life and the world.  

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Happiness is an attitude and a choice, much more than we would like to believe. David R. Hawkins wrote in one of his books  Underneath every "I can't", there is "I don't want to", which means "I'm afraid to do this" or "My pride won't let me try because I'm afraid to fail."  The price of being comfortable and reaping the benefits of your littleness is apathy and depression. This is what we gain by acting as a victim by allowing ourselves to be programmed. That's the price to take advantage of negativity. These are the results when we resist that part of ourselves that is loving, courageous, and great. It is also the effect of allowing yourself to be belittled by others or yourself, and to see yourself in a negative context. "

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So how do you find happiness?

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Practice your routine. The best habits appear in small, easy-to-follow steps. Gradually develop  habit until it becomes a natural part of your life. This is how happiness works! Maybe try to complain less this week and try your best next week  train your gratitude. 

Probably the list with points that can make us happy is much longer than the following 17. These, however, seemed to me the most obvious or the most proven.

Train yourself to be happy and be happy.  

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1.  Smile.

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You usually smile when you are happy. In fact it is like a two way street. We smile because we are happy, and smiling causes the brain to release dopamine, which makes us happier. This doesn't mean you have to walk around with a fake smile on your face all the time. But the next time you feel depressed, smile and see what happens. 

Or start each morning  from smiling to myself in the mirror.

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2. Exercises.

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Exercise isn't just for your body. Regular exercise can help reduce stress, anxiety, and symptoms of depression while increasing your self-esteem and happiness. Even a little bit of physical activity can make a difference. You don't have to train for a triathlon or climb a cliff - unless it makes you happy. The idea is to move your body, but not overstrain yourself. If you suddenly jump into an exhausting routine, you'll likely end up sore (and frustrated).  To get started, take a walk or sign up for yoga or tai chi classes for beginners.  Start your day with 5 minutes of stretching  or dance even when cleaning or cooking. Whatever gives you pleasure and raises endorphins - the happiness hormone that appears after exercise.  

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3. Get enough sleep.

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No matter how much modern society forces us to sleep less, remember that adequate sleep duration  is essential for good health, brain function and mental well-being. Most adults need around 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night. If you find you need a nap during the day, or if you just generally feel like your computer is frozen, your body may be telling you it needs more rest.

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If you are having trouble sleeping despite following the steps above, talk to your healthcare provider. You may have a sleep disorder that requires treatment.

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4. Pay attention to what you eat.

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Did you know that research shows that we have two brains and ? One in the head, the other in the intestines. That is why your diet is very important. For example:  

• Carbohydrates release serotonin, the "feel good" hormone. Just keep simple carbohydrates - high sugar and starchy foods - to a minimum as this energy burst is short and slows down quickly. Complex carbohydrates such as vegetables, beans, and whole grains are better and the nutritional value of them is released into the body for longer.  

• Lean meat, poultry, legumes and dairy products are high in protein. These foods release dopamine and norepinephrine which increase energy and concentration. Highly processed or deep-fried foods tend to make you feel heavy and depressed. Skipping meals too. 

• Start by choosing one better food each day. For example, replace a sweet cake eaten for breakfast with coffee for Greek yogurt with fruit or porridge - like our grandmothers used to cook - you can add dried or fresh fruit and a little honey (remember that honey loses its nutritional properties at temperatures above 40 degrees Celsius). ). You will satisfy your craving for sweet, additionally protein will help you avoid the morning energy disaster, flakes will take care of your well-being, and fruit will provide vitamins and healthy intestines. Try to replace one unhealthy meal with a healthy one each week.

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5. Be thankful.  

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Just being thankful can improve your mood. For example, recent studies ( 1 ), ( 2 ) have shown that practicing gratitude can have a significant impact on the sense of hope and happiness.  

Begin each day with gratitude for just one thing, such as: sleep; the coffee / tea you drink in the morning; the breakfast you eat; Sun; rain ... Try a gratitude meditation with Claudia Pingot , for example​ - Polish promoter of meditation, gratitude and living in harmony with yourself.

During the day, try to pay close attention to the pleasant things in your life. It could be gratitude for family and friends  for work, promotion, love ...

In the evening, he will think of all the good and pleasant things, situations and things that have happened to you throughout the day. Imagine that the next morning you wake up and have only what you are grateful for today. What will it be? 

With a little practice, you can even become more aware of all the positive things around you.

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6.  Forgive me.  

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Tests  show that the main cause of depression is a lack of forgiveness.

When we feel resentment or anger towards someone we have not yet forgiven, we are stuck in the past.  Road  down  happiness is being in the present as long as possible. Enjoying and appreciating what we have "here and now".  If forgiveness is keeping you from experiencing the joy "here and now", then it's time to release the anger you hold. Many people live in their stride, with one foot stuck in the past - they get angry and  blaming yourself or others for something that has already happened. With the other foot in the future, worrying and writing negative scenarios of upcoming days and events. And the present one passes away, leaving "yesterday" behind and very often having little to do with these negative visions of "tomorrow". 

Ask yourself is there anyone I have not forgiven? Idea  how to be happy with yourself? Sometimes, even when we have forgiven someone mentally, it takes a few exercises to really forgive them in our hearts.  

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Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves, we take the burden of a past event off our shoulders. Refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Is any resentment worth destroying your own life and happiness? Whom do you have to forgive and let go of in order to go on and live life to the full?  

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7. Use positive words.

Neurologist Andrew Newberg, MD, has done research that shows that a positive attitude through words can, literally, change your brain. He examined the brain and the effects of spoken words or thoughts and found that even one negative word increases the activity of the amygdala or the fear center in our brain. The body begins to release stress hormones and neurotransmitters that interfere with the normal activity of the brain. Angry words shut down the frontal lobe, which moderates the centers of logic and reasoning.  

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By holding positive and optimistic words (such as love, peace, joy, etc.) in your head, you stimulate the activity of the frontal lobe. This area includes specific language centers that connect directly to the motor cortex responsible for getting you into action. Research has shown that the longer you focus on positive words, the more you start to influence other areas of the brain. The functions in the parietal lobe begin to change, which changes your perception of yourself and the people you interact with. A positive view of yourself will make you see the good of others, while a negative self-image will draw you towards suspicion and doubt. Over time, the structure of your thalamus will also change in response to your conscious words, thoughts, and feelings, and the way you perceive reality.

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8. Face your stress.  

Life is full of stressful situations and it is impossible to avoid them all. Stanford psychologist Kelly McGonigal  he says that " stress is not always harmful ," and we can even change our approach to it. In a stressful situation, you notice that  your heart beats faster? That's good because your body is getting ready to exercise. Does your breathing get faster?  It's a sign that it's being delivered to the brain  more  oxygen. Stress before an exam or an important event can motivate us to prepare better. Research shows that if you believe stress is unhealthy, it will, your body will read the signals - a rapidly beating heart, rapid breathing - as threatening. On the other hand, if you treat these signals as a preparation to take up the challenge, you will be less tense, less stressed and more self-confident.

It's a bit like magic thinking, but research shows that our brain can do a lot more than we think and if you believe that  stress is unhealthy and deadly - it will be. Conversely, if the signals  flowing from your body  - accelerated pulse, faster breathing will be considered neutral for your health, your body will treat it  as in a situation of joy and courage. Amazing isn't it? Everything in our head.  It is our faith that causes arteries to narrow due to stress, which can ultimately lead to coronary artery disease.  

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For those stressors that you cannot avoid, remind yourself that everyone has stress - there's no reason to think that it only affects you. You are stronger than you think, so instead of being overwhelmed and intimidated, try to face a difficult situation. It may mean starting an uncomfortable conversation or putting in extra work, but the sooner you deal with it, the sooner you will be able to feel calm and joyful, and even be pleased with yourself that you've dealt with a stressful problem.

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9. Breathe deeply.  

You're tense, your shoulders are tense, and you feel like you're going to fall apart. We all know this feeling. Your instincts can tell you to take a long, deep breath to calm yourself down. It turns out that this instinct is right. According to Harvard Health  Deep breathing exercises can help reduce stress.  

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10. Take note of unhappy moments.

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A positive attitude is generally a good attitude, but bad things happen to everyone. It's only part of life. If you get bad news, make a mistake, or just feel afraid, don't try to pretend you're happy. Recognize the feeling of unhappiness by allowing yourself to experience it for a while. Then focus on what made you feel this way and is there anything you can do to bring your peace of mind.  Would deep breathing exercises help? A long walk on  in the fresh air among greenery? Talking to someone? Maybe closeness and hugging someone? Let the moment pass and take care of yourself. Remember, no one is happy all the time.

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11. Keep a journal.

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A diary is a good way to organize your thoughts, analyze your feelings, and make plans. You don't have to be a literary genius or write numerous volumes. You can describe your day before going to bed or write down a few thoughts. If writing certain things annoys you, you can always destroy them when you're done. The process matters.  

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12. Be kind.

Tests  show that there is a close relationship between goodness and happiness in everyday life. Kind people experience more happiness and have happier memories. Counting the acts of kindness they have done  for one week, people seem happier and more grateful. So happy people are, above all, kinder to others.  

Happiness increases by noticing your own deeds . So paying someone a compliment, giving them confidence, and recognizing their accomplishments can make you and the other person happier. From the research report  titled  "Altruism, happiness and health: it's good to be good"  shows that  There is a strong correlation between the well-being, happiness, health, and longevity of people who are emotionally and behaviorally compassionate.

Like gratitude, kindness is an important human strength that influences subjective well-being. Kindness contributes to good social relationships and can therefore be viewed as adaptive.  In addition, research results suggest that there may be an interconnection between kindness and happiness, as has been shown with gratitude and happiness.

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13. Log out of the electronic world.

Disconnect. Really.  

Never start your day by reaching for the phone or reading the news or, equally unhappy, browsing Instagram. Start the day nicely. Good music over morning coffee. With light stretching exercises to wake up, or just lie down in bed thinking about nice things. You can start your day with  gratitude for what you have and experience.  

Nothing will happen if you reach for the phone and messages an hour after waking up.  

Turn off all electronics and put your phone on hold for at least an hour - at least once a week. Friends and messages will not disappear.  If you haven't disconnected from the net for a while, you might be surprised at the difference that experiencing real life makes. For a change, let your mind wander. To read. Meditate. Take a walk and pay attention to your surroundings. Be sociable. Or be alone. Just be.  

Sounds too daunting? Give it a try. Our brains are stimulated by news and pictures, which is why they are often tired, and this takes away the joy of being in the present  "here and now" and deprives you of happiness.  

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Maybe the movie " Social Dilemma " will help you decide to reduce the number of hours spent on the Internet and on social networks.

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14. Go for a walk in the green.

Spending 30 minutes or more a week in the air  among greenery  can help lower blood pressure and depression. . 

Your green space can be anything from a nearby park, your own backyard or a roof garden - anywhere you can appreciate nature and fresh air. You will get even more benefits if you go outside to exercise - jogging, walking with poles, bike, rollerblades, ice skates ... - or meditate.

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15. Take care of yourself.

In a rapidly changing world, it's easy to forget yourself. Your body carries your thoughts, passions and spirit through this world, doesn't it deserve a little care? At least once a week, treat yourself to a relaxing hot kick on  end of the working week. Or at home, do skin care. Or, in comfortable clothes, lay down on the couch with a book or in front of the screen and watch a movie from beginning to end. Or meet a friend for a ladies' evening ... Whatever makes you happy and relaxes you, make time for it. If you have to, write it down on your calendar, but do it, take care of yourself!

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16. Surround yourself with positive people.  

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List five people who make you feel good and three who can burden you in life. Plan time with these five positive people who support you.  You and add joy to your life. At the same time, choose to spend less time with the three people who are making your mood lower.

Choose friends who will be honest with you and encourage you to pursue your goals and dreams. When you share your time with people who support and encourage you, you can build lasting relationships that directly contribute to true happiness. Research has shown that "happy people who have better social relationships have a more enjoyable everyday life." For example, very happy people have highly rewarding relationships with friends, romantic partners, and family members, and that, compared to their less happy peers, they report more positive events and emotions in their daily life than negative ones. Direct your energy into building meaningful, positive and deep relationships, even if it means reducing your circle of connections.

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17. Meet your friends.

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Humans are social creatures, and having close friends is something that makes us happy.

Do you miss someone Talk to that person. Make a date or just chat on the phone.  

As an adult, it may seem impossible to make new friends. But it's not about how many friends you have. It's about building meaningful relationships - even if it's just for one or two people. Try to get involved in a local group of volunteers or take part in activities. In both cases  you can meet like-minded people  people in your area. Chances are they're also looking for friends.  

The companionship does not have to be limited to other people. According to many studies , pets may offer similar benefits. You love animals but can't have a pet? Consider volunteering at your local animal shelter to make new friends - people and animals.

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